Things I wish I understood but I don't: Health and Fitness

I went for a run today. Hopefully it was the first of many days in which I go for a run. If you know me, you know I avoid exercise. I don't mind mucking around with a random game of basketball or having a dance session, but I hardly ever look to exercise intentionally. That is unitl spring comes around and it is a mad rush to get a little, Ok a lot, more beach presentable. And around this time every year I start a health kick that usually comes to a halt by the time I've hit the food coma that is known as the afternoon of December 25th. But as I say every year, THIS is my year. Not 2008, not 2009, not even 2010, but THIS is my year. And I hope it stays around longer than a few months this time. Actually, Im attempting to make it a lifestyle, of fresh food, healthy body image and maybe a sprinkling of Lorna Jane. Wish me luck. 

Chapter Three: A Girl Who Knows True Happiness.

"Happiness comes quickly when you turn your eyes away from your needs and back to your God"

'Just smile'. A statement that is much easier said than done. For me, true happiness was very hard to find, and truthfully, it is only recently that I can confidently say that I am happy. And it took a lot of God, dropping a few bad habits and acquiring some better ones to find it.

Life was good until I reached 2010, which is jokingly and kind of seriously referred to as the year I almost single handedly ruined my life. I wasn't able to start university like I had been planning so I felt like I was going no where. I also started drinking and partying a lot more than I used to, which was not at all. I would write myself off every single time and the next morning would deal with a killer hangover and a few more regrets to add to the pile. Although every single time I managed to convince myself that I was happy and having fun and it wasn't until last July, when I found myself in a hole of self hatred that I realised something needed to change. That was a year ago, and it is only now that I feel like that particular change is complete. It took me one year to completely turn my back on it all. It took me one year of continually giving God all the baggage I had collected from the year before.

I was very, very far from happy. I still went to church and did all the 'God' stuff but I had turned my eyes away from him, choosing to focus on other things. And I had to make a lot of changes to my life and let go of a lot of things I used to do but as I re-aligned my focus, my happiness began to return. Some days it was a fight not to give in to the depression I faced, but every single day I won was worth the days I didn't. And God wasn't an instant solution to a problem. It was still hard, and it still hurt, but he walked with me every single day, and one day I found that I finally had made my way back to happy. These last 12 months have been the longest 12 months of my life but I have come out the other side with my life deeply cemented within the love and grace of God. I no longer drink and I no longer party and it is my current goal to become emotionally, physically and spiritually healthy.

For me, I turned away from God and tried to find happiness in cheap thrills and fixes. And those closest to me could see that I wasn't doing very well at all. And nothing but God, and focusing on him, would pull me out of that. The happiness I found in those things was fleeting, but the happiness I found, and continue to find in God will last forever.

So I understand that somedays you can't just click your fingers to make the sadness disappear but I do challenge you to begin to fill your life with things that are good for you and make you smile because the things you fill your life with do affect how you feel. And I also understand that somedays it is a fight to not left the bad stuff win. But trust me when I say that God wants to help you fight, and win that battle.

Favourite Things.

1. Photoshop CS5.
After 6 months of a media degree without photoshop, I finally was able to get CS5. It is like washing your clothes by hand and then getting a washing machine. It makes everything a breeze and I will never not have this program on my computer again.
2. Butter Chicken.
My go to take away dinner is currently butter chicken, rice and naan bread  from an indian place in town. To use the word amazing is definitely an understatement. The next thing I have to do is learn how to cook it myself.
3. Skyscraper by Demi Lovato.
I've been hearing this song on the radio for a while, always turning up and singing along when it came on. I can never say no to songs like this, gorgeous vocals teamed with a 'I am not who you say I am' message will get my vote every time. Can you imagine my surprise when on Monday, I found out it was by Demi Lovato?! Not that I disliked her, but I never really had a big desire to listen to her stuff. Until now.
4. New fonts.
Fonts and typography have got to be one of my favourite things about graphic design. Font face can make or break my opinion on a design and my biggest personal design rule has to do with type faces. Therefore, one of my favourite things this month has been finding awesome new fonts and then spending hours playing with them. My current favourites are Nova1 , Jersey Stories2 and Peach Sundress3.

1. used for favourite things title  2. used for web address on blog header  3. used on the'hello august' post title.


Samantha Lynch, 2011.

Years ago, when I first started mucking around with photoshop, I would spend hours making banners and signatures for myself and my friends on forum based websites. I was playing around before and quickly put this together and it made me realise how much I miss this type of design.

Things I wish I understood but I don't: Fashion

I don't consider myself an expert in fashion: I buy Vogue, watch Project Runway and judge the designers and their style like I'm Valentino*, or Rachel Zoe*, but I honestly have no clue on anything at all. But as the blog title suggests, it is something I wish I knew a bit more about then simply 'what goes with what'. So I try and learn things and I can tell you right now, if I had the money, I would have the expensive taste to go with it. And in my endeavour to learn, I try to keep on top of what is coming in (and going out) each season. 
So can you imagine my surprise when I was shopping the other day and saw something similar to what is pictured above? All I could think of was the 90's, and then again when I was 15, and op shopping and how I spent a good portion of my time trying to make them look good on me and they NEVER DID.

So maybe it's bitter resentment at the fact they made me look like a short and frumpy child or that yet again it was another thing I couldn't pull off, no matter how hard I tried. But really? Are they really something we are going to see everywhere come summer? Am I really going to have to try again because I never learn from any of my past mistakes? Because maybe, just maybe, it will work this time around?
I doubt they work for me in 2011, and limited knowledge or not, I can't really see them working for summer 2011. Maybe I'll be eating my words, but we will wait and see.

* I also like to name drop, and I am oh so good at it.

Chapter Two: A Girl Who Knows Love.

"God's love is here to stay, and that's what gives the God Girl the strength to rise above the mess and smile. She knows that no matter how hard life may be, no matter how bad she's messed up, he will never abandon her and never leave her."

Two things jumped out at me from these few sentences. One was that God's love is permanent. The other was "no matter how bad she's messed up". See, I have this thing. I know God loves me, I also know that he forgives me and I also know that once forgiven, he wont bring back my past. It is finished. I know these things, and no matter how much I know God will do all these things, it is a whole other ball game when it comes to myself. I can accept God's forgiveness, but it is the hardest thing in the world to accept my own.

I keep coming back to the 'if only's. If only I didn't do this one thing, or more accurately, those twenty things, it would be ok. Or maybe if I didn't make a huge fool of myself, and if no one really knew of those twenty things, I could get over it. 
If only.
If only.
If only.
If only I can forgive myself, than everything else would come so easy.

So each day, I aim to leave he past where it belongs and fix my eyes on what lays ahead. Because it is so much better than anything I can imagine.
He will give me the strength to rise.


Glee in 3D.

My weeks usually consist of the same thing, which isn't a bad thing, but it definitely leaves a small window of new things to blog about. But one thing I did do this week, is see the Glee 3D concert movie. Actually, I saw it last night and as everyone knows, or as I mentioned in my last post, I am a huge Glee fan. I am also aware that a lot of people despise it, because they hate the cast or because they think they are "superficial" or because it's one big stereotype, or because they hate musicals. As a fan, I can also see the things about Glee that make people hate it. I see them and I choose to love it despite of those things. Because at the end of the day, it's just a show that makes me happy to watch. And happy is good.

So back to the movie. 
I loved it. I had followed the concert online through tumblr so I knew what to expect. I knew what outfits went to what song and I knew what was meant to go where. And it was a really good summary of the concert.  I sang along obnoxiously out of tune, I had all my favourite bits and I without a doubt stayed back until after the credits to see 'somebody to love'.
I loved the back stage stuff, the warblers and watching the cast fighting giggles when trying to stay in character. Lea Michele was hilarious, as was Heather Morris.
The 3d effect was also great, not too much, but enough to get your money's worth.
I also loved how they have woven fan stories into the movie. Each one of them was absolutely beautiful and it really goes to show how one show, and one cast, can really change people's lives.
One thing I would have liked to see was what is now dubbed the 'Klaine' scene, which featured Kurt, Blaine and Brittany in a cute little skit and I would have also liked to see Colfer's performance of single ladies, but it was an encore item which wouldn't have really fit into how they played out the concert on the big screen.

The movie was great, but honestly, would you expect anything else from such a huge fan? Probably not.
So this was my short, and incredibly self-controlled review of the Glee movie. If you had been in the cinema with me, or if you are game enough to ask me in person, you are going to get more of a "asdfghjk/ snajsg oh my gaga, asertyuiknbvcvbn akdddndh!23elrpodsd" response.  
Don't say I did't warn you.

Chapter 1: Do You Know A God Girl?

"The life of a God Girl centres around not what others think or do to her but who he is. She defines her life by the fact that she belongs to him."

For a long time, I was defining who I was (and even how "good" of christian I was) by how other people saw me. I also was defining things by how I looked, how I came across or even how confident I was compared to others, which quite often, was not at all.

At school, I wasn't really anything or didn't really belong anywhere, I just was. But if you were to ask people in my year, most would probably say I was an average, some what nerdy christian girl. And I still am that today, except now, I don't mind being a little bit nerdy. Especially when it comes to Glee and graphic design, but that alone is a whole other level of insane. And over the years, the 'christian' label has become so much of who I am that it is no longer something I have to remind people of. Like the me during high school, it just is. This is because it is in everything I do. Separate to nothing and involved in everything.

I am many things. I am an aspiring designer, I am a sister, a daughter, a friend, an aunty. These are some of my labels. But alone they do not define me. What defines me is who I am and who I am becoming in Christ. I belong to God, and I let who he is define who I am. By definition, I am a 'God Girl'.

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